its 3:30am

and I hear....."Dad, Can I sleep in your bed?"
I dont hear a response, but I feel Tom pull him up in between us. I go back to sleep.

3:40am "Mom, I love you so much" " I love you too Boston, go back to sleep"
3:45am "Mom, Your breath stinks" "Roll over then or go back to your bed."
4:05am "Mom, can you make donuts for breakfast?"

4:06am mommy has decided to sleep on the couch only to be wide awake. Urgh. Its going to be a long day. I love that kid but sheesh......

Note to self.

• Chickens eat moon sand.
• Little boys should NEVER under any circumstance have access to an ink pad. I now have bright pink ink all over my couch. I have BOTH my boys to thank for that.
• If you eat more than one bowl of fiber one cereal in a day your stomach will hurt all night long.
• If you cant find your breath savers look inside your shoes. I found all of them in my gym shoes today (thanks luke)
• Luke has decided that he will now only answer to "Luigi".
• That makes me "Bowser". As in "I love you Bowser,you are the best Bowser in the world!"
• My children will do just about anything for a little debbie oatmeal cream pie.
• I will do almost anything for a homefires peach scone. Ohhh...that sounds heavenly right now.
• Tom WILL do anything for pecan pie.
• Im going to take ballroom dancing lessons.....guess who is going to take them with me.....MY TOM! Im so excited. Even if I suck it should still be a different experience for me to cross off my bucket list.

Day 1

I didnt update how my appt went.I went and saw a new doctor specializing in mental health, not a psychiatrist but one step below one. Heres a rundown of how it went...

1. I told her EVERYTHING that I think about on a daily basis.
2. I think I scared her to death. She physically backed her chair away from me and hoped that I wouldnt notice...I did.
3. I finally came to terms with the fact that I have extreme anxiety along with another disorder that Im not going to mention. (sorry, I have to keep some things to myself)
4. I bawled about that. God bless waterproof mascara.
5. We discussed the pros and cons of daily medication to help what I am going through...(read: she discussed pros and I discussed cons.) I probably went on for a half hour about how I WILL NOT take medication that will make me fat. End of story, I dont care how "wonderful" it is for people like me,I wont do it.
6. We talked about what I need to give up to start feeling better.....

• Crime TV (Snapped,CSI,48 hours, pretty much anything that I like)
• Caffeine (done that.....Woot! 1 1/2 yearr now!)
• Alcohol (now wait a stinkin minute here! Im going to have to "discuss" this one with her a little more. I dont drink often at all! In the last 6 months I have had 3 drinks! )

Im happy I went in the end.

We did decide on a medication for me to "try". I started it this morning. I felt like puking most of the morning, Im not sure if its the medication or if I am psyching myself up about it. I guess time will tell.

So Sorry...

Ive been pretty much MIA lately. Sorry, Ive been sick and so very much not myself. Its hard to be witty and original when you are feeling both physically and mentally sick. I had a major breakdown last night followed by a seizure and im still feeling the effects of that.
Believe me I want more than anything to get back to normal and for some reason its just not working for me. Im headed to the Dr tomorrow to try and get some things figured out.

Updates

1. Ducks and Chicks are 18 weeks old, expecting eggs in the very near future, however I have 2 boy ducks and one girl, boo.....I got ducks for the eggs and now will only be getting one-ish every few days.
2. Moonsand fits perfectly into electrical outlets. (thanks luke!)
3. Moonsand is not easy to remove from outlets. I taped the vacuum hose to the wall for 30 minutes.
4. Im still having a hard time coping with the loss of my grandfather. Margaritas with friends sure helps though. I havent laughed like that in a long time, Thanks girls!
5. Pedicures that end in bright blue toenails with the color being "Teal the cows come home" sure make me happy. Its like it was "meant to be" ;)
6. Brian gave me a BB gun (till collin is old enough to use it). How cool is that? I am just waiting for some unwanted animal to make its appearance in my yard!
7. I caught my boys today mooning the TV. We have one of those kid cameras that lets the kids watch themselves on the TV. Both had pants around their ankles and were shaking it to "old mac donald".
8. My male mallard duck HATES my dog. Happy goes outside and Tank just charges at him. I heard the dog yelp and noticed that the duck had a mouthful of fur! Evil creature! Sadly it is kind of funny to watch.
9. Ive been faithfully going to the gym 5 days a week. Its working well for me and the person working there that early in the morning talks to me and keeps me happily distracted from what I am actually doing (running). Ive lost close to 25 lbs. (Part of that due to Mono)

My life can be both mundane and insane at the same time. Thanks for listening to me y'all. I appreciate it alot.