Day 1

I didnt update how my appt went.I went and saw a new doctor specializing in mental health, not a psychiatrist but one step below one. Heres a rundown of how it went...

1. I told her EVERYTHING that I think about on a daily basis.
2. I think I scared her to death. She physically backed her chair away from me and hoped that I wouldnt notice...I did.
3. I finally came to terms with the fact that I have extreme anxiety along with another disorder that Im not going to mention. (sorry, I have to keep some things to myself)
4. I bawled about that. God bless waterproof mascara.
5. We discussed the pros and cons of daily medication to help what I am going through...(read: she discussed pros and I discussed cons.) I probably went on for a half hour about how I WILL NOT take medication that will make me fat. End of story, I dont care how "wonderful" it is for people like me,I wont do it.
6. We talked about what I need to give up to start feeling better.....

• Crime TV (Snapped,CSI,48 hours, pretty much anything that I like)
• Caffeine (done that.....Woot! 1 1/2 yearr now!)
• Alcohol (now wait a stinkin minute here! Im going to have to "discuss" this one with her a little more. I dont drink often at all! In the last 6 months I have had 3 drinks! )

Im happy I went in the end.

We did decide on a medication for me to "try". I started it this morning. I felt like puking most of the morning, Im not sure if its the medication or if I am psyching myself up about it. I guess time will tell.