Sometimes you just CANT laugh for fear of hurting yourself...

One of the main times for that is during a short stint on the Eliptical machine (aka: that horrible machine). If you listen to comedy whilst running you will laugh, lose momentum and then smack your knee of the front of the darn thing at a hard pace! Ouch, Im going to have a bruise the size of Texas.
If you want to hear some serious funny you need to youtube John Pinette: Chinese Buffet. I laughed so hard I freaking injured myself, If thats not funny...Then I dont know what is ;)

::Brrrrrrring::

"Hello"
"RiverCom 911, What is your emergency?"
"Um I didnt call."
"We have had a standing call from your home for about 10 minutes, There is an officer en route to your home"
"Alright then, Thank you"

I go storming into the playroom which the boys (the only 2 other people in the house at that particular moment), are supposed to be cleaning....

"Who called 911?"
"Boston did!"
"I did not! I promise!"

I can totally tell when Boston is lying and he was not this time. So I directed my attention to the culprit...

"Luke, did you call 911?"
"Yes"
"Why would you do that?"
"So you can't make me clean this room"

GAH!!! I'm so irritated by this point. I see the police officer pull up and I go to meet him outside.

"Luke! Get out here!"
I made him talk to the officer and they had a nice conversation about how to only call 911 in an emergency and how cleaning up toys is not an emergency. Neither is mommy a criminal for making him do such an atrocious task. I sooooooo Quit. Anyone want a 5 year old?

Luke...you make me crazy.

Shopping in Safeway for groceries with my baby boy (5) can be a bit of an anxiety inducer because you are never really sure what is going to come out of his sweet little mouth.

We are in the frozen section looking....

"Mom, What are we getting?"

"Chicken breasts for dinner tonight."

and as LOUDLY as he can yell it "BREASTS?! I LOVE BREASTS!!!"

Same trip...I decide to buy sparkling cider for the kids.

"WooHoo! We get WINE!"

"Gah! Lucas! This is not wine!"

"Dang it....that sucks"