October 4th 2011

12:40pm Alaska Airlines flight 660 To Dallas/Ft Worth, Seat 22F, Currently awaiting takeoff.

I am hungry, I ate all my peanut M&M's in the airport waiting to board. Strawberry chewing gum only last so long. In my case about 5 minutes.
Major Perk #1 I got a window seat!
Major Perk #2 The seat next to me is EMPTY!
I bought some sominex in the airport knowing full well that I will probably not sleep good tonight.
We were just informed that we are waiting for a bunch of people to board from a late flight from Alaska. I'm feeling like Major Perk #2 might be bombing.

1:00pm

Woot! Seat next to me is still empty!
I am soooo not impressed with the flight attendants on this flight. We are not even in the air yet and they seem to just be loathing the idea of flying today.

1:30pm

So I am off on a Discovery of Self Adventure, The destination you ask? Paris, Arkansas. Population 3,700. My Grandma Dooley lives there and I am going to visit for 2 weeks.
1st item on the agenda for flight #1

• Read "How to Gain Control of Your Time and Your Life" by Alan Lakein.

Somebody around me totally farted and now I am trying rather unaffectively to both not laugh and not breathe. I am sitting here gagging and giggling, I bet people think it was me. IT WASNT! ok.....back to the book now.

2:00pm

Hmmm...Already to chapter 5, Impressed with myself? Very much so ;)

Pat is the lady sitting 2 seats over from me in 22D. We have already discussed my travel plans, her travel plans, her kids and grandkids, my family, and now my writing. I've got a complete stranger rooting for my in my attempts to become a published author. You have no idea how GOOD THAT FEELS!

2:10pm

Tillamook cheddar, red apples, sea salt and olive oil crackers=HEAVEN. Oh and Brie......Best airplane lunch ever!

I finished reading 6 Chapters and I did all the recommended writing of lists and making priorities that it had suggested. My top three goals are....

1. Become a published author
2. Spend Quality time with my family
3. Write about our experiences and adventures together.

3:00pm

Flying is a pretty amazing experience if you think about it. Where else can you see such amazing views? You can however only have your head smashed up against an airplane windowr for so long before A: It leaves a red mark on your forehead or B: You start to go crosseyed and develop a headache.....Both of which have happened to me in the last 10 minutes. I swear some of the most intellectual conversations that I have are with myself, In my head. :)

Im not even to Ft. Worth yet and I already feel a huge weight being lifted off of me........I am shocked at how well reading and writing has cleared my mind.

Just Saying.....

If my BREAKFAST consists of the strongest pain killers I can find and FUDGE. Its not going to be a good day. Just saying.

God Bless PMS!

Sometimes you just CANT laugh for fear of hurting yourself...

One of the main times for that is during a short stint on the Eliptical machine (aka: that horrible machine). If you listen to comedy whilst running you will laugh, lose momentum and then smack your knee of the front of the darn thing at a hard pace! Ouch, Im going to have a bruise the size of Texas.
If you want to hear some serious funny you need to youtube John Pinette: Chinese Buffet. I laughed so hard I freaking injured myself, If thats not funny...Then I dont know what is ;)

::Brrrrrrring::

"Hello"
"RiverCom 911, What is your emergency?"
"Um I didnt call."
"We have had a standing call from your home for about 10 minutes, There is an officer en route to your home"
"Alright then, Thank you"

I go storming into the playroom which the boys (the only 2 other people in the house at that particular moment), are supposed to be cleaning....

"Who called 911?"
"Boston did!"
"I did not! I promise!"

I can totally tell when Boston is lying and he was not this time. So I directed my attention to the culprit...

"Luke, did you call 911?"
"Yes"
"Why would you do that?"
"So you can't make me clean this room"

GAH!!! I'm so irritated by this point. I see the police officer pull up and I go to meet him outside.

"Luke! Get out here!"
I made him talk to the officer and they had a nice conversation about how to only call 911 in an emergency and how cleaning up toys is not an emergency. Neither is mommy a criminal for making him do such an atrocious task. I sooooooo Quit. Anyone want a 5 year old?

Luke...you make me crazy.

Shopping in Safeway for groceries with my baby boy (5) can be a bit of an anxiety inducer because you are never really sure what is going to come out of his sweet little mouth.

We are in the frozen section looking....

"Mom, What are we getting?"

"Chicken breasts for dinner tonight."

and as LOUDLY as he can yell it "BREASTS?! I LOVE BREASTS!!!"

Same trip...I decide to buy sparkling cider for the kids.

"WooHoo! We get WINE!"

"Gah! Lucas! This is not wine!"

"Dang it....that sucks"

Oh its on!!

Score
WASPS-1
ALICIA-0

Freaking bees! I am trying to get fall cleanup going on here! I was sweeping the porch and I bumped a table and got swarmed by wasps! I freaked out and ran inside and now am sitting here stewing and plotting my revenge.

Wasp spray....Check
Hose....Check
Tequila for courage....Check

Wish me luck!

If I stop him.....

I miss out on the most entertaining stories.

I had just finished making 7 pints of perfect grape jelly. I yell "Luker, I'm Awesome!"
He, without missing a beat pipes up with "No your not dude, dont lie."

I just rolled laughing. I love that kid.

We have been watching too much Cirque du Soleil apparantly, Whenever I can hear luke deep breathing from another room I know that I need to get there immediately to intervene. Take today for example, I hear deep nasal breathing from the living room so I go running in there to find that he has created a "highwire" between the couch and coffee table with my dust mop and is attempting to cross it BLINDFOLDED. Mama's little Cirque boy ;) I let him do it knowing that he was going to fall. And he did. He gets up off the ground looks at me and says "I shouldnt eat so much candy, Im getting to heavy to fly"